Death of Convenience

  Since 1980 there have been two billion legal and illegal abortions worldwide, and 97 percent of abortions are a death of convenience. Who is the victim? Who suffers the most? The baby is dead and buried, and its spirit has returned to God. The mother is the one who has to live with her decision, and the consequences have very far-reaching implications. Most mothers experience depression, severe anxiety issues, and some 70 percent turn to drugs and alcohol to escape their pain. Their complaints to counselors include horrible nightmares involving babies, fear of sexual relationships, and feelings of being inadequate. All the mothers reported it was the most horrible experience in their life and they wish they would have looked at other options more seriously. There is a website called where you can read the stories of mothers and their experiences, and get help.

  Where is the man in all of this? In most cases nowhere to be found. This is why it is so important to plan your life in advance. Set a schedule of goals in such a way that when you have accomplished one goal you have your next goal already in front of you. Just letting things happen may sound romantic in the storybooks, but in reality it can be a lifelong nightmare. We want to believe what someone is telling us is the truth, and we don’t want to shy away from a possible future with someone we care about, but we have to create standards for those we love so that if they really care about us they will provide us with a secure future.

The most valuable thing we own is our sexuality, and/or our virginity. So we have a progression of events that develops into a romance that will last a lifetime. A man will tell you anything necessary to have sex with you. One of my goddaughters told me one time, “I knew what he was telling me was a lie, but I wanted to believe it so much I had sex with him.” She had sex three times and became pregnant. I remember the day she called me and told me she had scheduled an appointment to have an abortion. It was June 24, 2015, and the appointment was the same day I was to have heart surgery. I texted her over and over again and she would not respond so it was a tremendous heartfelt experience to go into surgery not knowing the outcome of that little boy. It was two days after my surgery when she texted me and told me she decided to keep him. I am here to tell you today that he is one of the most wonderful kids I have ever had the opportunity to hang out with. He just turned three, and he has a smile on him that is absolutely infectious. He wears a little red baseball hat at an angle on his head just like the old timers wore theirs, and he is a joy to be around.

A progression of events is where we set moral standards to follow so we can avoid the pitfalls of life. We seek out companionship through groups at church. We socialize and interact with others so we can find someone we have things in common with, but sex is not how we develop a relationship. Before we commit the most precious thing in our life we need security. It begins with true love where we grow to know each other’s personality in confidence. Marriage is very important because it requires a commitment to each other. It also commits the families so they can become involved, and then we need to involve our pastor so we can go through marriage counseling. This way you have an understanding of how your relationship is going to work. Sex is a very big step in life because it will involve all the people above plus the possibility of a little bundle of joy. This is why we develop our life through a progression of planned events. It is very important that we keep the order in perspective.

If you have suffered loss I want you to know you have someone you can go to in prayer that has suffered in every aspect of humility that mankind can throw at him. When you are sad, He is sad, when you cry, He cries, and when you are consumed with despair, He is there beside you. He paid the price for our mistakes so that there is nothing on earth or in heaven that can prevent us from being forgiven. I don’t care what anyone has done in their past, when they turn to Jesus Christ it is all put behind them. The sacrifice that Jesus paid for us covers our sins like a blanket so when we stand before God the Father we are sinless in every way just as Jesus is sinless. We don’t have to suffer mentally anymore. We don’t have to carry the blame because He carries it for us. We can move on with our lives and this time try to get things right.

It is normal to grieve a lost child regardless of the consequences. It tears a hole in our heart that time may not ever be able to repair. It creates an emptiness inside of us that causes a lot of pain. I can only express to you my own personal experiences, and when I surrendered my life to Christ the Holy Spirit of God came into my mind and filled the void of my despair. Did it happen overnight? No. It is a daily walk through life where we grow in confidence in our Savior. Through Bible study and prayer we are led through the valley of the shadow of death until we climb to the mountaintop where the Son shines into our life with love, hope, and forgiveness. God has forgiven us so we are able to forgive ourselves.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I accept Jesus Christ as my sin-bearer and I trust God to forgive my sin because Jesus Christ died in my place; I accept Him as my risen Savior who ever lives to make intercession for me; and I trust Him to keep me from day to day. I accept Him as my Lord and King to whom I surrender the absolute control of my thoughts and my life. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen

I am here if you need to talk. You can reach me at

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